


it's the best thing that i'll ever do

by bangtanandbarisi



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 20:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12779211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bangtanandbarisi/pseuds/bangtanandbarisi
Summary: Was there anything left to accomplish in life when everything that you’d ever wanted was laying in your arms?





	it's the best thing that i'll ever do

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](http://booyahkendell.tumblr.com/post/167612320249/sometimes-i-get-this-image-of-sonny-and-rafael-on%22) headcanon.

Was there anything left to accomplish in life when everything that you’d ever wanted was laying in your arms?

That was the question Rafael found himself considering as he laid in bed, sleep elusive as he watched Sonny’s eyelids flutter with another soft breath.

The bed was a little uncomfortable, the sheets too rough for what they’d paid, but creature comforts were a fragile excuse for why he laid awake, green eyes intent with hour two of watching Sonny slumber impending. 

The truth still felt like some far-off, sun and rainbow-soaked fantasy, a narrative conjured not unlike the ones he’d dreamt up as a child, when walls and doors and a fort of blankets could only do so much.

It didn’t feel  _real,_  concrete — it hadn’t settled into his stomach yet, to expand, and live there, and breathe.

The sheets were real, the bed underneath them was real, Sonny against his chest was real —

But then he’d glance downwards, at the fingers clutching ribs and flesh, and it was.

A gold band, with his name inscribed on the inside.

Unblemished yet, from wear, and just a little too big to settle comfortably at the base of Sonny’s finger.

With his name inscribed on the inside.

Somehow, he’d come to hold the love he’d only ever dreamt of in his arms.

Married that love, somehow.

Tall, and kind, with a heart so expansive that he loved even those who didn’t deserve his warmth.

Gentle, and a smile that Rafael thought himself goddamn lucky to be the cause of.

Unafraid to be held when he cried at Hallmark movies.

Still young enough in mind and soul to beg Rafael to go ice skating with him because Rafael had never been.

Never letting go when Rafael stumbled.

That was his Sonny.

His love.

Everything he’d ever wanted.

Now that he had this, had Sonny, had him forever, Rafael was sure he’d never need anything more.

Not when falling in love with Sonny was the best thing that he’d ever done.

He reached down to take Sonny’s still fingers into his own, bringing them carefully up to his lips. Cool metal so close met the warmth of his mouth, and Rafael held Sonny’s hand there for long seconds, eyes closed as he lived in the sensation.

Here, with the man that he loved with a strength that Rafael knew no other human capable of.

It was unfathomable, anyone loving another person the way that he loved Sonny.

It’d been frightening at first, but he’d dulled to it now; that gut-swallowing ache that would eat its way to behind his ribs until it felt as though he were living with cement in his chest every time he and Sonny were apart.

Or every time Sonny walked into a room.

Or every time Sonny smiled and Rafael felt it down to his core.

Or every time Sonny pulled him in farther when they made love, wanting to feel every inch of Rafael’s skin around him.

And maybe that was it, maybe that was when Rafael had realized that he was in love — when they had sex one night after a case that had torn Sonny apart, and he’d clung to Rafael’s body like he was the one thing keeping him from falling apart.

Like he’d needed Rafael’s touch across every span of skin to feel okay again.

To feel cleansed.

Like he’d needed Rafael inside to feel whole because he’d been left broken.

That night, making love to Sonny, Rafael had realized he never wanted it to stop.

That push and pull, where Sonny fell to pieces and kissed him gently enough to let Rafael know that he trusted him to put it all back together.

Where Rafael could do the same and Sonny wouldn’t hesitate.

And maybe that was it, because wasn’t that what love was supposed to be?

It was what love with Sonny felt like, and Rafael was certain he never wanted it in any other way.

As he lowered Sonny’s hand, his eyes flickered back over to the head laid against his chest, eyelids fluttering with the movement of a breath.

“God, I love you.”

It was whispered, into curls gone soft with the day, into the air between himself and the man he’d spend a lifetime with. 

Tomorrow was the start, and the morning had never felt farther away.

He could wait, though.

He would count the hours in breaths, in sighs that would ghost their away across his ribs.

In Sonny, who was unending.

What were hours when he would wake up to the rest of his life?

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed. Comments and kudos are, as always, appreciated. <3


End file.
